I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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