i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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