why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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