Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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