It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
