Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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