So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
