hotel room ftw
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize