I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt