I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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