So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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