3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.