DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
