would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
