uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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