ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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