walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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