Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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