"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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