Will you blow on my dice?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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