Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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