Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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