im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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