So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
