I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
