I'm so fucking centered right now
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
