I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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