rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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