ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
