my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
