"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
