Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
