I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
