Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
