so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So squirting runs in the family.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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