I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
