we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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