I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
