you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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