All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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