You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
