it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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