Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He felt like a one man threesome
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
