I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
