Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
