Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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