Got a toothbrush?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i already hear my dad disowning me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize