I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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