I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
