Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
When are your genitals available?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize