By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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