I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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