remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
