HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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