What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
