dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
