were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
