You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
