dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
