yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
