so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize